How can we protect informed consent during a crisis pregnancy?
When a female experiences an unplanned pregnancy it can easily escalate into a moment of crisis in her life if she is not surrounded by a supportive community offering sound advice and wisdom.
In this article, a professional doula (childbirth companion) and experienced ante-natal class teacher offers practical tips on navigating an unplanned pregnancy with love, safety and care.
What is a crisis?
Well, a crisis can be defined as an emotionally stressful event or traumatic change in a person's life. The stress may be due to an extremely difficult or dangerous situation.
So, what is a crisis pregnancy?
When it comes to a ‘crisis pregnancy’, the majority of unplanned pregnancies are not physically extremely difficult or dangerous.The “crisis” is usually due to stress and emotional factors, such as shame or fear of an unexpected future.
Any calm, unstressed person knows that it is not usually a good idea to make life-threatening decisions with life-long consequences when you are stressed and unlikely to be thinking clearly.
With an unplanned pregnancy, there are big decisions to make and whatever you choose, you will have to deal with and possibly even live with emotions like shame, fear, regret and possibly self-reproach what you may perceive as your ‘mistake’.
There is no going back, you can only go forward and make better choices for your future.
An informed choice is a well thought out decision, based on an accurate understanding of the full range of options, the risks and benefits of each alternative and their possible results or consequences.
Well researched information is essential for an informed choice. No one should make you feel obligated to choose a certain option. Social activists, media hype, pressure from healthcare providers, even the opinions of your parents or partner should not cloud your judgment, especially if they are motivated by their own stress and negative emotions about this situation.
The acronym BRAIN outlines an effective technique to use to reach an informed decision. It is especially good to remember this when you feel under pressure to give consent in a hurry.
Do not rush any decision until you have taken the time to properly discover the answers to these questions and calmly weigh up the options.
B - What are the BENEFITS?
R - What are the RISKS?
A - What are the ALTERNATIVES?
I - What does your INTUITION tell you? What’s your gut feel?
N - You can say, "I NEED more information" or "NOT NOW, I NEED more time" or "I NEED a second opinion" or "I say NO".
Informed consent implies informed choice and this includes the right to informed refusal too.
This is where we can help you. While Voice for Life is unashamedly a pro-life organisation, we offer practical and emotional support to pregnant women, to alleviate much of the stress and pressure you may find yourself facing. In this way, you are in a better position to make a rational decision.
Knowing that you are not alone and that you have professional support from people who are not emotionally connected with your life can reduce your stress. It may help you to calmly reach an informed decision. It can reduce the risk of rash decisions that you later regret.
Before you make any decisions you should know the following. Read these positive statements more than once so they really sink in!
We live in a society that is much more forgiving and accepting of unplanned pregnancies than ever before.
We can help you deal with unsupportive family members or a stressed out partner.
Many women and their families have been in your circumstances and they got through it. They overcame the stress that you are feeling now.
There is financial and social support for single parents.
Becoming a parent gives a woman a new sense of life purpose as she takes on the task of caring for a new little person. Many describe labour and birth as a life-changing, victorious and empowering experience.
Change is unavoidable in life and an unplanned baby is an unexpected change in your circumstances that could potentially become a great joy.
Adoption is a great gift that you can give to others, if you feel it's the best option for your baby.
With an unplanned pregnancy, there is no way to erase or undo what has already happened. There is no quick-fix.
You can only deal with the consequences of your new choices. We encourage you to make sure that your choices are well-researched and made calmly with as much clarity of mind as possible in what may seem a difficult situation.
Abortion might seem like a solution to problems like shame, fear, financial stress and even inconvenience, but it doesn’t make you un-pregnant. It makes you the mother of a dead baby - forever.
We’d love for you to rather choose life, but whatever your choice, Voice for Life can direct you to counsellors to help you deal with the physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual consequences of your decisions at each step of the way.
Take a few deep breaths, get support, use your B-R-A-I-N and make a good decision.
Shirley E. is a mother of 6 children, a professional doula (childbirth companion) and experienced ante-natal class teacher. She is passionate about helping expectant parents to make informed choices for their own lives, their baby’s births and their families.
